Injured because I'm obsessed, or obsessed because I'm injured.

Midafternoon, after my Zion 100k ended, I unzipped my tent, stared at the mesh wall, and listened to all that kinetic energy in my head. Energy from mucus squeezed out of my throat from its cheesecloth lining. And the next day adding more energy by tinkering with good old ΔPV = ΔnRT driving home over the excruciating great divide.

My mind raced over treadmills trails powered by mucus energy and the paranoid feeling my mind was still in the race but my body was not. Within days, I figured out how to fix this. I spent the winter exploring each open space park in Jefferson County (around 10 since I was counting only the sizable ones, and minus Apex since it's mostly closed). So next, I would do a 42 mile solo run around a desert Wilderness in southern Utah.

Can you understand my thought process? I signed up for a bajillion races this year so I could explore my new surroundings, why not do it outside racing too? So many people at races, makes me want to hide! I will go hide in the wilderness.

Man his dog and the city.

Throughout the month after Zion, as my scabbed head finally cleared up, my foot began niggling. This has brought a little realism to my newest obsession. A stiff foot reminds you there is no logic in living to run, running to be outside, therefore running all day everyday outside.

I haven't been injured for close to three years, when I used to be plagued with shin splints for a couple months of every year. In a way, I am grateful for it. Before Zion, I told myself I would give my body a break from running and ride my bike more. I would need some recovery before San Juan Solstice. And now, look what I am wholly having to commit to? Injury is always a learning experience, so much more mind blowing than the most epic of runs.

I talk as if I embrace injury with a sun salutation. There were a couple mornings I spent crying, frustrated, and cooped in my room until 2pm. Luckily, my puppy's pawpaw, my love and my best friend quadruples as my coach. Even if he had no idea what he was talking about, he would still be subjected to hours of discussion about thoughts in my racing head. By definition, "runner" is a synonym for neurotic masochist, so it is important to have a soundboard for irrationality.

Here are some fortune cookie thoughts that help me remember that runners are not defined by the act, but by the desire.

Because being injured can make you feel like soaking sobbing pathetic crazy person.

Listen to your body and embrace your journey, not others'.

Plans do not become stories until they are past.

Stay focused, commit to what you can.

Devote yourself to something new. Experience the learning curve.

Repay loyal companions.

Change what's been wrong and do what's been good more.

Weights, to remind you of your strength.

Physiotherapy, to remind you of your weakness.

I like to roll hair balls out of the carpet between rest intervals.

Savor extra time with your loves.

Savor each step of every run.

Photo credit Myke Herms